Simon Sinek is one of the world’s leading experts on leadership and business strategy. Simon released a TED talk which discusses how empowering yourself to be more successful in your personal life requires first asking why you do what you do – not how or what.

“It’s not about you, it’s not about your company, it’s not about your products or services. It is why you do what you do that serves as the ultimate competitive advantage”.

Simon says that having a clear understanding of your ‘why’ will help guide every single decision that you make, both personally and professionally.

“People don’t buy what you do. They buy why you do it.”

The idea of asking why is to gain a deeper understanding of yourself to set better personal goals, know where your heart lies in life, be more clear on your values, and discover the passions that drive your everyday actions.

In this TED talk, Simon does a fantastic job of highlighting the power of asking yourself why and provides insights into what you can do to discover your own ‘why’ that will serve you in all aspects of life.

So without further ado, here are ten life lessons from Start With Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone To Take Action, by Simon Sinek:

1. Don’t ask ‘What do I want?’ Instead, ask ‘Why do I want it?’

Simon discusses the difference in results between asking what you want and why you want it. He cites a study done at University College London where subjects were asked to choose between two cars to buy. One car represented a ‘want’ while the other a ‘why.’

Almost everyone chose the car, which was a want because it represented a tangible purchase. This is because we are taught to ask for what makes us happy in our society rather than why that thing will make us happy. Those who bought cars based on ‘desire’ were less satisfied than those based on ‘why.’

2. How you do anything is how you do everything

This means that if someone values happiness at work, they will make decisions accordingly. Making decisions in line with your values creates alignment and allows for greater personal growth throughout life.

Therefore, if you want to be happy and fulfilled in life, ensure that the decisions you make – whether at work or at home – are aligned with your values. This will help you act in line with your why, which is important for personal success and for achieving meaningful work.

3. What do you stand for?

Simon asks us to consider how we can know what decisions are right or wrong if there is no values system in place. He discusses the difference between ‘good’ and ‘right.’ This ties in with the idea of ‘ How you do anything is how you do everything.

If we don’t stand for something, then what will guide our decision-making? If someone doesn’t know their values, they may be susceptible to more dangerous influences. Simon states that “the most dangerous two words when it comes to making decisions are ‘What would Jesus do?'”.

To truly live a life that is guided by our ‘why’, we must be clear on what we stand for. Otherwise, there will be a lack of conviction in our decisions, which can create conflict in life.

4. Live life backwards

“What do I want to achieve? What should I start doing now to get there?” This is the idea of living life backwards.

Simon compares this framework for thinking about our lives to a video game where we must complete three levels before moving on. 

  • Level 1 – Discover your why
  • Level 2 – Live your why
  • Level 3 – Inspire others to live their why.

Simon argues that the biggest difference between a successful person and a mediocre one is not a lack of skills or opportunities but rather self-awareness which enables that person to find their ‘why’ and then have the courage to live it.

5. You don’t get what you expect. You get what you inspect

Simon highlights the fact that we only really know what we expect when we inspect. According to Simon, most workplaces don’t have a culture of praise and feedback but rather blame and compliance, which is ultimately harmful. He also states that if someone isn’t getting paid enough, it is most likely because they aren’t asking for enough. While we cannot control the actions of others, we can control how we respond and react to those actions.

If your work environment is one of blame and compliance, then you must change this. Don’t expect more from them if they don’t inspect; instead, find out what you can do differently to help create a culture that rewards positive results.

6. A picture is worth 1000 words

Simon refers to analogies to simplify complex topics into lessons that are easier to understand and learn from. For example, he states that great communicators understand that if you cannot simply describe something, then the idea itself was never clear enough in the first place.

This ties in with ‘Live life backward’ in that a person who can communicate their vision clearly is more likely to have success. We can improve our ability to do this by asking ourselves if what we have communicated is easy enough to understand and then practising communicating it over and over again until we get better at it.

7. You don’t need to know all of the answers

Simon discusses the idea of listening and learning through curiosity. He states that people who have a genuine desire to know will listen more than they talk, which is an important quality for effective teamwork.

Talking less does not mean you have nothing to say but instead that you are giving others space to speak as well. If you are the type of person who talks more than they listen, begin to turn this around today. Ask open-ended questions that require more than a yes or no answer, and imagine yourself teaching someone something instead of talking about what you know.

8. Stand up for what is right

Simon argues that nothing can be accomplished without making sacrifices. He states that if we are not willing to stand up for what is right, then there is no way that our vision will ever become a reality.

However, this does not mean that you should always do what other people expect or want. Simon suggests asking yourself whether the reasons for standing up for your values are ‘right’ or ‘true’ and letting this guide your decision.

9. You can’t do it alone

Simon argues that teamwork is the only way to accomplish anything worth doing. However, he also states that to be part of a high-performing team, you must surround yourself with better people than you in the areas where you are not.

This does not mean that you should only seek out the most talented people; it means that you must be humble enough to understand your strengths and weaknesses. For example, if someone on your team is better than you in a certain area, do whatever is necessary to learn from them and give them credit for their accomplishments.

10. Don’t be a lone genius

Simon argues that true success is never achieved by one person alone. He states that no matter how talented you are, you will never realize your dreams if you do not have the right people supporting you. According to Simon, without these people, you will always struggle to produce anything of value.

When it comes to your life, career, and any project you have going on right now, whose support do you have? Simon argues that if you can’t find at least three people to be a part of it, it will likely never succeed. But, on the other hand, if the idea is worthy of your time and energy, then make finding those three people a priority.

In conclusion: Start With Why by Simon Sinek

The lessons that Simon teaches are simple to understand but not always easy to implement. However, these ideas are based on research and years of work with successful business people worldwide.

Most importantly, Simon teaches us that our ability to achieve our full potential is entirely within our control. We need to find the right way to get there and keep pushing ahead.